Delaying Gratification - Why I'm Doing the Dishes Right Now & Thinking of Buddha

A friend of mine loaned me a very famous book (which I had never heard of) called The Road Less Traveled by Dr. M. Scott Peck.  It is a "self-help" book from the 70's, and I never would have picked it up off the Barnes & Noble shelf on my own.  The cover is boring, and the subtitle ("A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values, and Spiritual Growth") speaks to me in zero ways.  However (and it's a big however)... However, it's truly changed my life, and I've only read the first half of it!  Just wait to see how enlightened I get when I'm finished!

Peck postulates that the main reason we're all so miserable is a lack of discipline.  There are four elements to discipline, which are: delaying gratification, acceptance of responsibility, dedication to truth, and balance.  In this entry, I'm focusing on that first one.  I'm a major procrastinator.  It's been a problem my entire life.  Now, I'm sure if Dr. Peck was alive and willing to visit West Hollywood, he would psychoanalyze me and somehow blame my parents, but I accept responsibility for this negative trait.

In the book he asks, Would you rather spend the first hour of your work day tackling the least desirable task and leave the rest of the day to accomplish more satisfying jobs?  Or would you rather procrastinate that task until the last hour of the day, which fills the first seven hours with guilt and dread?  That struck close to home.  The latter portion perfectly described most of my work days - and some days at home too.  In conjunction with the other three steps of discipline, I've made some real progress with my procrastination.


Suddenly, I'm washing dishes as soon as I get home from work, grading papers first thing in the morning, and the biggest boost of it all - I'm noticeably happier.  The people closest to me in life have commented on it.  I must've been a real sad sack of potatoes before.

The last piece of this incredible (partially complete) transformation is my Buddhist mantra, which I've been saying for almost a year now.  The Buddha said that all of man's suffering is a result of his desire for control, but that control is an illusion.  I cannot control whether or not kids turn in homework.  I can't control my boyfriend's schedule.  I certainly can't control traffic in Los Angeles.  BUT, I can use self-discipline to get my dishes done, eat properly, and honestly assess my decisions.

I don't claim to be Buddhist, or an expert in psychology, or even marginally enlightened.  I'm just glad that I wake up, am happy to go to work, and I've got clean plates.

So This is Thirty...

I turned 30 a couple of weeks ago.  I had a birthday party.  I was showered with love and generosity by friends.  And I totally forgot that I had a blog all about turning thirty...

Though I can't say I was as dedicated as I hoped, I do feel a bit more accomplished hitting three-oh.  I successfully negotiated a better position at work, many of my friendships have blossomed, I feel comfortable with myself, and I managed to ditch a bad habit or two.

I truly look forward to what my thirties have to offer, because my twenties were a mess!  It's a pity that the world revolves around youth, because I'm finally at a point in life where I've found some clarity, confidence, and drive!  Maybe I can pass for 28...

Down in the Dumps? Not with Gene Around...

I once heard a film historian say that the title musical number from Singin' in the Rain is pure, unadulterated joy captured on film.  I remember this because once I heard it, I knew it was true.  So tonight, while my stomach churns, while I curse the employment opportunities for teachers, and am forced to cancel what would have been a rare period of productivity in my hectic week, I decided to put on That's Entertainment.  And as soon as that overture reached the joyful notes of "Singin' in the Rain," my heart felt lighter, and I suddenly had the urge to twirl around my living room and jauntily "tap" up and down my staircase.  So with this in mind, I've worked up a list of five more joyful musical moments on film.

As Lina Lamont said, "If we bring a little joy into your humdrum lives, it makes us feel as though our hard work ain't been in vain for nothin'. Bless you all."

  1. "The Boy Next Door" from Meet Me in St. Louis with Judy Garland.  Just look at her!  Stunning, in soft focus, singing a heartfelt tune of young love... It was tough to choose just one number from this film, as it also contains "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas," "The Trolley Song," and the title tune.

 2. "On the Street Where You Live" from My Fair Lady with Jeremy Brett.  I have often walked... I mean, I have often found myself humming this song as I walk down the street myself.  As it builds to that "towering" crescendo, I get goosebumps every time.

3. "Cheek to Cheek" from Top Hat with Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers.  "Heaven, I'm in Heaven..."  Again, a swirling romance with glorious dancing, a crescendo with musical drama, and I'm hooked!  Fred and Ginger movies are by far my favorites, as proven by my permanent ink homage to this film (yes, I have F&G from this movie poster tattooed on my shoulder).

4. "White Christmas" from Holiday Inn with Bing Crosby and Marjorie Reynolds.  Though I also enjoy the film White Christmas made several years after the song became a #1 hit, I enjoy this version more.  I suppose because of its simplicity - Bing with his pipe, Marjorie warming herself from the snowfall outside... And of course, it brings forth all of the emotions associated with Christmas, family, and tradition.

5. And finally, "A Spoonful of Sugar" from Mary Poppins with Julie Andrews.  My goodness, if I had a dime for every time I sang this one to get me through a rough patch!  How much happier can it get than Julie Andrews tidying up the nursery and befriending jolly birds?  I also have quite a soft spot for "Feed the Birds," though many disagree with me.  I do know for a fact, however, that Walt Disney used to call the Sherman brothers into his office to sing "Birds," and keeping company with Walt is fine by me!

The Best of Times, The Worst of Times

As this school year wraps up, I've been spending a lot of time thinking about being a teacher and what that means.  I have determined that it is both the most rewarding and most heart wrenching job in the world.  And yes, I am including ER doctors and firemen.  Sure, they are "noble professions" too, but they make a helluva lot more money than I do.

So here it is - the stats on being a teacher, from my humble point of view...

Who? Crazy people.  Loving, caring, outgoing, crazy people.  I think you have to be a little nuts to deal with the ups and downs of teaching, especially in junior high.  And a sense of humor is a must.

What? Instruction.  Test making.  Book reading.  But also, joyous conversations, frustrating parent conferences, making each other laugh in the teacher's lounge, and occasionally stomping around in the empty girls' bathroom out of sheer rage.  And Bingo games, field trips, spirit weeks, and school plays.

Where? A million schools with tiny budgets, administrators in crisis, and businessmen in charge of the curriculum.  Again, crazy - but in a non-fun way. 

Where else? Colorful rooms covered in construction paper, short stories, marker stains, and piles of papers "to be graded."

How? Sometimes, I don't know how I make it through my day.  Sometimes I want to rip my hair out and drink large margaritas.  But despite the moments of appreciation being very few and far between, boy are they worth it, especially from that one kid . . . the one who glares at you when assigning an essay, who never wants to talk about his home life, and who once in a blue moon will say that he "kinda, sorta liked that book you gave me."  (And you know you've got him.)

Why? God knows.

Ladies at Work

After a recent unpleasant encounter at work, I've been thinking about what it means to be a lady in the workplace.  Just because we want equal rights doesn't mean all hints of chivalry should die!  It's quite irritating to have a grown man let a door slam in your face while holding an armful of books.  And this has happened more than once in recent months.

With this in mind, I've come up with a few do's and don'ts for us women at work . . .

DON'T:
- Walk into work with a frown
DO:
- Be the cheerful person everyone loves to see in the morning

DON'T:
- Dress in a manner to attract flirtation
DO:
- Dress to attract compliments for your good taste

DON'T:
- Allow emotions to make your decisions
DO:
- Reflect on your feelings overnight before reacting

DON'T:
- Cry, complain, or make excuses during a meeting
DO:
- Accept responsibility, but stand up for yourself when necessary

DON'T:
- Tear down another co-worker to build yourself up
DO:
- Encourage success with your teammates (especially female) so they'll do the same for you

And finally . . .

DON'T:
- Expect someone to open the door for you
DO:
- Offer sincere thanks to those who do (I expect this will result in more door openings)

Sick Lady

I'll be brief... It's absolutely impossible to feel ladylike while doing the following:

a) Blowing one's nose (even with a silk handkerchief)
b) Gargling with salt water (even from a crystal goblet)
c) Coughing up one's lung (even though TB has been made to seem romantic)
d) "Sweating out" a fever (even if reclining on a fancy chaise lounge)

All of the above is just, straight up, gross.

A Very Short Story

 HERE IS A QUICK PIECE I WROTE A FEW YEARS BACK WHEN THINGS WERE VERY DIFFERENT, AND I SPENT MANY HOURS IN TRAIN STATIONS.

- - - - - - 

"Holly's Little Book"

Holly thinks it should be easy to write a novel about the man she loves.  She is completely wrong...

Chapter 1

            On the beautifully tiled floor of Union Station, backlit by the afternoon glow, is the cockroach Matt just squished with the wheel of his rolling suitcase.  But he is not worried about this dead creature on the floor.  He is worried about making the train on Platform 7.  Even more than the train, he is worried that I may be pregnant.  And more than a potential baby, I am worried about someone in bare feet or slight sandals coming across the squished cockroach.

            This is as far as Holly got in her book.  The reason for this is the very nature of her theme.  Love is difficult and wonderful and fleeting and timeless and more often than not, a giant pain in the ass.  When she believed she was pregnant, she was completely in love with Matt, and therefore, not worried about having his baby.  Despite the bad timing, she was actually quite elated.  When they realized it was a false alarm, he was relieved and she knew it was the end.

            She began writing her novel when she believed she was pregnant.  It was ten at night on a Wednesday and she was four hours late.  They left for the train station the next morning.  She was still late and told him about it.  He was shocked and then he pretended to be calm and then he threw in a little excitement.  Mostly, he was scared shitless.  When he found out she was only one day late, his mind was put at ease and he said a prayer to God for the first time in twelve years.  

“Please God, don’t give me a baby.  I couldn’t handle it right now.”

Matt’s prayer was answered that afternoon on the train.  That afternoon on the train also brought the end of Holly’s novel.  Holly could no longer romanticize their relationship.  She could no longer picture Matt pushing their son on a swing in the park.  She could no longer envision him giving their daughter a bath and her little hands splashing water back at him.  The whole family would laugh together and then Matt and Holly would kiss.  They were very happy in her fantasies with the little baby.  Without the baby it was just them.  And just them wasn’t easy to romanticize anymore.

Holly was madly in love with him, and even though he was madly in love with her, he was no longer madly in love with life.  He could no longer face another day at work with any enthusiasm.  He could no longer rally himself to paint the garage door or fix the bathroom tiles.  He could no longer speak about going back to school.  Essentially, he could no longer face the idea of changing his routine.

And this, she knew, was the end of them.  If he couldn’t rally for a tile or an education or his alarm clock, he couldn’t rally for their future.

Holly’s story started as a book about love.  It ended as a paragraph about love.  Maybe not the love she wanted to write about, but love nonetheless.

Gettin' Busy

Well, it seems as though I gave up on my ladylike quest once I stopped getting unemployment money on that snowy mountain debit card.  I've got a job now, so apparently I can remain uncouth and immature . . . But really, let's face it, I didn't have much going on last year at this time. 

Even though I'm now up to my eyeballs with essays to grade, creative side projects, and a mountain of housework, I've decided to NOT give up on this blog.  Looking back at my previous posts, they create an interesting snapshot of life one year ago...

I was quite broke, feeling quite alone, and spending too much time watching television.  Now, I still watch way too much boob-tube, but I can pay my bills - and more importantly - I feel much more comfortable in my own skin.  I'm not any more or any less "alone" than before, but now I'm at a point where being alone doesn't feel lonely.  And that feels pretty good. 

So, I'll do my best to get back on track with my entries.  Perhaps I'll post a short story or two.  Maybe you'll even be lucky enough to get a taste of my junior high poetry (why yes, I did find my old journals in my parents' garage recently)!

Julia's 100th!

In honor of Julia Child's 100th birthday, I was planning on making something delicious from her recipes and posting a gorgeous picture of it.  However, it's very hot here in sunny Los Angeles and turning on the oven sounds like a terrible idea.  Instead, I'll just say Happy Birthday to a truly great woman who changed many lives.

Growing up, I watched many food t.v. shows with my grandparents, which is how I really cultivated a love of eating.  We watched hours of tv programs and tried to recreate the recipes for dinner.  Those are some of my favorite memories of my grandfather.

My favorite program (other than Child's) was "World Class Cuisine" narrated by a lady with a wonderful foreign accent.  I believe it was on one of the public broadcasting channels, though we did watch quite a bit of Food Network too.  This was long before the Food Network could boast about much.  Mario Batali's "Molto Mario" was a favorite, as well as "East Meets West" with Ming Tsai.  I miss the low budget food programming of the 80s and 90s.  Everything looks so slick or comes in the form of competitions now.  Sometimes I just want to watch a really amazing chef cook, especially on location in his or her restaurant.

None of us would be the amateur chefs that we are today (or be able to make such wonderful family memories through cooking) if not for Julia Child and her determination to bring decent cooking to the people!  So thank you and happy birthday!

Hitchcock's Ladies

In honor of Mr. Alfred Hitchcock's birthday (August 13, 1899), I have compiled a list of my 10 favorite female characters from his films.  Though we all know he was fond of the blondes as leading ladies, he's got a few brunettes in there that deserve some credit too!  I also think the supporting women deserve a bit more credit, as they were sometimes much more interesting than the lead.

1. Joan Fontaine as The Nameless Wife (Rebecca, 1940) Poor thing, she doesn't even get her own name!  Of course, this was the conceit from the novel (and might I add, the very different and much darker novel) which made her just so pathetic.  She finally grows a bit of a backbone in the film, but more than not, you root for her because she's so helpless.  And I think we can all imagine ourselves thrown into the world of Manderley and behaving in just the same way.  Memorable Blunder: The Costume Ball

2. Kim Novak as Madeleine Elster (Vertigo, 1958) What a stunner Kim Novak was in this film.  As a cold blonde becoming possessed with an ancestral spirit, she embodies the perfect blend of romanticism and the occult.  Of course, things twist and turn (I'll try to avoid spoilers, despite it being released over 50 years ago!), but even with her faults, she's still so enticing.  Memorable Costume: That Gray Suit

3. Kim Novak as Judy Barton (Vertigo) Okay, so this is kind of a cheat.  But she's a wonderful, genuine, and well-rounded character on her own.  In fact, I think Novak should get more credit as an actress for this switch.  She's often ignored because of her good looks.  Memorable Feature: Those eyebrows!

4. Patricia Hitchcock as Barbara Morton (Strangers on a Train, 1951) I absolutely love the roles Pat (Hitch's real life daugher) plays in his films.  In Strangers, she's a quippy, sarcastic young girl who romanticizes murder until she comes face to face with it.  Plus, she's got some great one-liners.  Memorable Scene: The Party Strangler

5. Janet Leigh as Marion Crane (Psycho, 1960) The film opens on Leigh in her underwear (yowza) having an affair.  Then she steals a bunch of money and goes on the run.  Not the typical "leading lady" so far.  In fact, nothing she does is leading lady material, though it seemed she had intentions of redeeming herself.  Unfortunately, she never got the chance.  Memorable Prop (other than the shower curtain): The Newspaper Filled with Cash

 6. Ingrid Bergman as Dr. Constance Petersen (Spellbound, 1945) I just adore a love story that gets the audience to forget just how inappropriate the relationship is!  Ingrid Bergman, a psychotherapist who's far too good looking to be that scientific, falls in love with her patient, a dashing Gregory Peck, amidst a backdrop of PTSD and surrealist dreams (done by Salvador Dali himself).  I like Bergman because she's all woman.  She is sometimes vulnerable, but never pitiable.  Memorable Dream: All Those Eyeballs!

7. Barbara Bel Geddes as Midge Wood (Vertigo) Poor Midge is in love with Jimmy Stewart (her dearest friend), he knows it, but he just can't make it happen.  I admire her because she's a straightforward, no-nonsense kind of woman with a good career and a fantastic apartment.  She designs underwear and has a great sense of humor about it.  Unfortunately, she's in competition with Novak and her many assets.  We've all been there.  Memorable Heartbreak: The "Humorous" Painting

8. Thelma Ritter as Stella (Rear Window, 1954) Grace Kelly is lovely, but boring.  There, I said it!  I much prefer Ritter as the wisecracking sidekick she plays in many films, especially this one.  As she becomes embroiled in the murder mystery, her tenacity keeps the detective work alive!  Memorable Quote: "Must've splattered a lot . . . Come on, that's what we're all thinkin'!"

9. Teresa Wright as Young Charlie (Shadow of a Doubt, 1943) Poor Charlie has so much growing up to do.  As much as she idolizes her uncle (the amazing Joseph Cotten), she's got to admit there's something funny going on with him.  I find this film to be particularly frightening because of the family psychology behind it.  Memorable Tune: "The Merry Widow's Waltz"

10. Judith Anderson as Mrs. Danvers (Rebecca) What a creepy bitch!  She is by far my favorite Hitchcock female, perhaps favorite character from any of his films, because she has so much brewing beneath the surface.  Danvers embodies the film's themes of grief, obsession, and betrayal, while offering a sexual undertone that the censors couldn't fight.  Memorable Mindf**k: "Do you think the dead come back and watch the living?"

Cactus Killer

Well, I've done it.  You said it couldn't be done, but I did it.  And did it well!  I've killed a cactus.  A beautiful little succulent died at my hands.  "How," you might ask, "did you manage it?"  Well, apparently cacti need a lot of sunlight and don't need a lot of water.  This must be why my little cactus turned into a sort of prickly Water Wiggler in my living room.

I must admit that this most recent herbicide was particularly heartbreaking.  Not only was this cactus a housewarming gift from a dear friend, but it was also the one plant I was quite sure I could keep alive.  It symbolized my skills as a homemaker.  It held all of my domestic hopes in its beautifully curved vase . . .

But seriously, it was a real bummer.  I still have one plant alive in the house, and it is now closely monitored.  Which brings me to my next project: silk flower arrangements.

I'm Not Rich, and That's Okay

Today I have to go to Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills, where I'll be surrounded by rich people and piles of things I can't afford.  It's a work trip, but there's something about walking into those stores that makes me feel like a fraud!  What I've realized about feeling my best in these situations is - be unique!

So what if I can't afford any of this stuff?  So what if I'm looking at jewelry more expensive than a house?  What's important is that I don't act like I shouldn't be there, because you know what?  It's just stuff.  None of the people who work in the shops can afford any of it either!

In terms of being unique, I like to wear vintage pieces, something I bought at a craft fair, or perhaps a funky pair of shoes I found in a thrift store.  The key for me is to put together a look that is entirely me, not entirely "Rodeo" (because frankly, I wouldn't dress that way even if I had the money).  Putting on a piece of fun costume jewelry will get just as many (if not more) compliments than the real stuff.

And I think this is applicable to many events and outings.  Going to a friend's birthday party with her well-to-do girlfriends?  A fancy theater event?  No need to break the bank to fit in with the crowd.  Let yourself stand out from it!

Protecting Ourselves

Several nights ago, I had a dream that I was being attacked by a very scary man, and I couldn't fight him off.  No matter how hard I tried to push him away, he was stronger, and I knew I was going to lose the fight. 

As everyone knows, a few days ago innocent people, just trying to watch a movie, were murdered in Colorado. 

Last night, while getting ready for bed, we heard seven gunshots.  When I put my ear to our open window, I heard a man yelling for help.  I couldn't tell where it was coming from, but luckily, the sirens approached quickly so I knew it was being taken care of.  As it turns out, an unidentified man shot at three homeless men, hitting one.


Normally, I feel very safe walking from my car at night.  I've had no concerns about living across the street from a park.  But isn't that what many victims think?

All of these incidents reminded me that all people, but especially women, need to learn to protect themselves.  I'm not sure exactly how to do this, but what could be more important?  It's frightening to think that I can live my life as a good person, not do harm to others, and still end up hurt or killed because I was in the wrong theater or walked by a neighborhood park a little later than usual.

Surely I don't have a solution to any of this chaos, but I can say that I'm looking into self-defense classes.

My Top 20 Romantic Movies (inspired by the wonderful Ms. Ephron)

As much as I'd like to think I'm a tough cookie and can roll with the punches, the reality is that I am probably the most sensitive person you'll ever meet.  This is why me plus romantic movies equals MFEO (made for each other).  And yes, that is a reference to Sleepless in Seattle.  Now, I do have to clarify that I'm not the type for weepy, tragic movies (no thank you, Nicholas Sparks).  I don't believe that tragedy is the same as drama. 

The recent passing of Nora Ephron, the famed writer and director who knew how to perfectly tug at our heartstrings, reminded me how much I love movies that blend romance with a healthy dose of humor.  It's unfortunate that they don't get the sort of recognition they deserve.  "This 'chick flick' can't possibly be an excellent film!" - Cynical Film Critic

My favorite romantic movies have a touch of humor, perhaps some magic, and a lot of heart.  Sometimes I enjoy being moved to tears, as long as those tears are a result of beautiful moments.  So in honor of my love for love, here is a list of my 20 favorite romantic films (I know I left some great ones out!):

1. Shakespeare in Love - Combines my love of the Bard, confused identity plotlines, and costume dramas into one wonderful, funny, utterly romantic film.  And I don't care what anyone says, I'm glad it beat Saving Private Ryan for best picture.

2. The Philadelphia Story - I just love Katherine Hepburn . . . and Jimmy Stewart . . . and Cary Grant!  Quite possibly my favorite classic romance (a separate movie list entirely), the dialogue is witty and fast, and the characters are absolutely charming.

3. Midnight in Paris - The first Woody Allen film on this list (and certainly not the last), I felt like this movie was made for me.  Romance, nostalgia, magic . . . Plus, it's in Paris!  That automatically adds about 400 points to the Romance-Meter.


4. Sleepless in Seattle - It's easy to see why this one is on the list.  Sweet, charming, perfectly written - it stands the test of time, as does . . .

5. When Harry Met Sally - Again, Nora Ephron writes a movie that feels like real people talking about real relationships.  They're just a little more concise and witty than the rest of us.

6. Valley Girl - What's more romantic than a Sunset Strip punk wooing a blonde Valley-loving prom queen?  Nothing.  And speaking of Nic Cage . . .

7. Moonstruck - This one is my most quotable movie ever.  Don't get me started ("Johnny had his hand, Johnny had his bride!").  Unfortunately, a lot of people I know have never even seen it!  Not only a romantic comedy, but also a love letter to family.  A la familia!

8. Dirty Dancing - I can't even remember the first time I watched this movie.  I was far too young for the subject matter and didn't even get half of the storyline.  But dancing and secret romance are a guaranteed hit - just ask ANY GIRL my age!  They all love this one.

9. Charade - Often called the best Hitchcock film Hitchcock never directed, Charade's plot twists and turns keep you guessing while the amazing chemistry between Cary Grant and Audrey Hepburn builds.  And yes, it's set in Paris!

10. Annie Hall - Not the traditional romantic comedy, but I consider it a romance above all else.  The element of this film that keeps us all hooked is the relationship between Allen and Keaton. (Honorable Mention: Hannah and Her Sisters)

11. Amelie - This movie is almost too adorable.  Almost.  The blend of magic, surrealism, and hopeless romanticism makes this French film an instant classic.  Again, it's in Paris! 

12. Moulin Rouge - Spectacular!  Spectacular!  Over the top.  Musical.  Ewan McGregor.  I'm in!  Oh yeah, and it's in Paris . . . Are you sensing a trend?

13. Only You - A romp through Italy with Marissa Tomei and Robert Downey Jr. is always a good choice for a girls' night in! 

14. Breakfast at Tiffany's - An easy pick because it's such a classic.  Though not at all what Truman Capote wrote about in his short story, I'm all for the changes made for the big screen.  It's subtle storytelling wrapped in amazing wardrobe!  (Side story: My mom saw this in the theater as a kid and was really worried about that cat at the end.  She didn't care whether or not they got together.)

15. Bridget Jones' Diary - It's just fun. I don't care whether or not Renee Zellweger put on a few pounds - it's irrelevant.  The key was making her an absolute mess of a person, which she pulled off perfectly.  And when that mess of a person finds Mr. Darcy?  Zing!

16. The Wedding Singer - I don't think this movie gets enough credit, because it's easy to cast off as "an Adam Sandler movie."  Not so!  It's really well-written and includes, quite possibly, the sweetest love song I've ever heard.

17. Defending Your Life - Meryl Streep and Albert Brooks end up in "Judgement City" after their deaths and will be sent to "the next level" or back to Earth based on how well they lived their last life.  A really charming story told in an unexpected way.

18. Something's Gotta Give - I love this movie because deep inside, I'm already an old person.  And I love Diane Keaton.  Mostly, because I'm an old person, and I still find Jack Nicholson attractive.

19. Bell, Book, and Candle - A lesser known film starring Kim Novak and Jimmy Stewart, Novak plays a witch trying to woo Stewart without using her powers.  It's a more romantic, funny version of Bewitched.

20. The Princess Bride - Did you think I wasn't gonna love this movie?  I'm in my late twenties, I'm a female.  Nuff said. 

Lady in the Garden

I very much envy women who have a knack for gardening.  Throughout my life I've attempted outdoor and indoor gardening.  My Oklahoma rose bush is still alive in my parents' backyard only because my father tends to it.  Thank goodness - otherwise it would be on the casualties list (which is quite long at this point).  As a kid I tried growing strawberries, sunflowers, houseplants, a mini-Christmas tree . . . it goes on and on.  Now that I've moved into my very own home, I've tried to grow dwarf sunflowers and daisies (needless to say, all of these are dead as doornails).  Luckily, I was given two succulents that keep on truckin'!  I manage to keep cacti alive!

Now, I have two plants in desperate need of help: an Easter Lily and a mini rose bush.  My Lily looks like an old corn stalk and the mini-roses look like they were pressed between the pages of a scrapbook about 50 years ago.  For some reason, I take it very hard when I kill a plant.  Partially because it's a living thing, partially because I find gardening to be a very feminine skill I am lacking.  But I'll keep trying through the year and hopefully be able to pass on some tips as I go!

Feel free to send some tips, websites, or videos!

Green Thumbs

The results of my anything-but-green thumb!  I'll be investigating some houseplant techniques this week!

Gwyneth on a Budget

Jokingly, my mom likes to refer to me as the "Budget Gwyneth Paltrow" ever since I started sharing things I read on the Goop website with her (for those of you unaware, Goop is Gwyneth's website/blog about food, travel, fashion, etc.).  The obvious problem with taking advice from a rich movie star is that I am, in fact, relatively poor.  I have, however, learned to take some of her advice and adapt it to my bank account.  Many people seem to have a real problem with Paltrow and her website, but I've always loved her (I was obsessed with Shakespeare in Love in high school and then obsessed with The Royal Tenenbaums in college).  So haters beware!  I'm about to blow your minds.

Free advice . . . My favorite bit of advice I've read on Goop is this - "Don't be lazy!"  Amazingly enough, this really made an impact.  Mostly because I LOVE being lazy!  The main idea is that you can't be lazy and then complain about a lack of success.  Makes sense to me.

Eating healthy . . . I understand that organic is best, as is unprocessed.  Unfortunately, I can't afford to eat like this all of the time, which means I have to pick and choose.  With all of the weird crap being pumped into our food, I prefer to spend the extra cash on organic produce.

Enjoying life . . . Gwyneth's blog posts have a certain "Joie de Vivre" which I really appreciate.  I look forward to being ridiculously rich one day to truly have this Joy of Life.  For now, I'll do my best not to get too bummed out!

Spoonfuls of Sugar

I am a list maker.  It helps me organize my thoughts and goals to write (and constantly rewrite) them down on paper.  Many people prefer the to-do list in their phones, but something about a tactile object makes it more real for me.  I found this daily chore calendar while perusing the internet, and other than it being useful, it is also adorable (look for the site in "Ladies Links").  I don't mind this tacked on the wall, as opposed to other Excel spreadsheet to-do's that look like Initech reports.  This made me realize that a little styling goes a long way for me.  Cute bracelet?  I want to wear it.  Cute chore chart?  (Let's hope) I want to do them!

My chore chart contains the following activities:

- Physical Activity (I'm being vague with this one, because I want to!)
- French Lessons (Rosetta Stone)
- Guitar Practice
- Morning/Night Skincare
- Job Hunting
- Water Plants
- Bad Habits (if I feel I've generally kicked them that day!)
- Adorn Yourself (a July fashion challenge at www.doitwithcassendre.com)
- Housekeeping (broken into sections):

• Floors
• Dusting
• Laundry
• Organizing

- And, of course, WRITING!

By the end of the month, I'll have a very real account of my productivity.  This will keep me on track and give me a sense of accomplishment when I see all of those check marks!

Junk in the Trunk

If anyone was wondering, this is how I envision myself while traveling.  I'm quite sure this is not, in fact, what I look like.

Traveling in Style

At this very moment, a good friend of mine is enjoying a Grecian holiday, which made me start thinking about the best ways to hit the road and keep one's gracious charm intact.  After seeing her cache of new accessories for the trip, it really got me thinking about how I travel and what I pack - and whether or not I really take advantage of the opportunities for travel glamor.

Looking back, I've always enjoyed dressing for the occasion, even on trips.  When I was fourteen, I asked my parents to take me to the Hotel Del Coronado in San Diego as my birthday present.  I packed several hats and every piece of vintage clothing I owned into my 1960's Samsonite because to me, that hotel meant Old Hollywood.  I was very proud of my outfits and had my mom take several pictures of me in the same spot Marilyn stood while filming Some Like It Hot.  I insisted on taking bubble baths each night, and even as a youngster, enjoyed ordering tea service in the ocean view bar, with all of its dark wood and well-dressed waiters.

Now let's fast forward a few years to 2011 and my trip to the Florida theme parks.  Looking at the pictures from that vacation now, I see that I sacrificed any shred of fashion for comfort.  Long white shorts that make me look about four feet tall?  Check.  Turquoise running shoes with ankle socks?  Check.  I was so focused on the heat and humidity factor that I forgot about the many humiliating photos that would result.  I also knew I would only be seen by my parents. 

So as I move forward, I've decided to follow these five self-imposed guidelines for traveling.  No more horrid pictures for the scrapbooks!

1. Accessorize!  I think this is the most important element, because packing multiple outfits per day may not be possible with luggage size restraints.  Scarves, jewelry, and shoes don't take up too much space and can really alter a basic outfit for day to night changes.  I once took six pairs of shoes to Vegas for a weekend trip.  Luckily, the two girls I stayed with also packed the same amount, so I felt very validated.
2. Choose a "look" and build a palette from it.  I realized that subconsciously I usually pack with a sort of costume in mind that (romantically) suits the destination.  A hotel with a sparkling pool requires espadrilles and a large sun hat a la 1940's pin-ups.  Bustling city like New York?  I'd go part Holly Golightly, part Debbie Harry, and - let's not act like we don't love her - part Carrie Bradshaw.  A trip to Paris would require some well-cropped black pants, bateau necklines, ballet flats, and a great pair of oversized sunglasses.  And I usually like to stick to basic colors for the clothes.  Black for cities, colors for the sea (that sounds incredibly pretentious).
3. Enjoy your hotel time too!  Often people look at the hotel as a place to sleep, and that's it.  I feel quite differently.  I love hotels and prefer to stay in places with some personality because of it.  Pack beauty products that make you feel good, bring a pretty nightgown, and buy a candle in the gift shop to light while getting ready.  I'm also a fan of packing a kimono.  No one outside will see it, but it really glamorizes the experience!
4. Take a chill pill.  I've been on many trips with break-neck schedules (get on the tour bus, get off the tour bus) and although you see everything, you never get to really enjoy the culture and people watching.  I'm a big fan of relaxing on vacations, though apparently this is a very un-American attitude!  And by the way, I will never EVER ask a concierge if the hotel has a gym.  What a waste of time!  Which brings me to my final point . . .
5. Eat as much as possible without feeling sick.  I know this sounds a bit overindulgent, but I'm on vacation and I'm not worrying about my waistline.  Because that is work, and I am  not at work.  Granted, I don't want to stuff myself to the point of gluttony, but I feel no need to skip any meal or snacking opportunity, especially in cities known for their cuisine.  You better believe that I'll stop at every single creperie I see in France! 

Hopefully you'll take a vacation soon and try out some of my ideas.  In fact, hopefully I'll take a vacation soon and try them out!  And check out my "Ladies Links" page for some traveling sites I recommend.